Sandwich Challenge: Tony G

On February 26th, 1989, the new owner of the Dallas Cowboys, Jerry Jones, fired legendary coach, Tom Landry after 29 years with the team.  Jerry immediately hired Jimmy Johnson and took Troy Aikman with the number one pick in the draft.  The Cowboys then won three Super Bowls in 4 years (92, 93, 95) and established one of the great dynasties of the early 90s.  Some have said the Cowboys dynasty of the 90s was born on that day.  But that's not all.  That's right, folks, today is my 30th birthday and I am gracefully stumbling into a new decade of life with a sandwich that could only be described as my "bizzaro" order, the 'Tony G.'*  

Is this sandwich named after me?  Firstly, I've never gone by the nickname Tony (my mom would throat punch you if she heard you call me that) and secondly what in the world is broccoli rabe and why is it on my sandwich?  Well, kids here's today's lesson: Broccoli Rabe. Is. Not. Broccoli.  It's actually a vegetable called rapini, which I guess is similar to collard greens and kale.  I've never really had broccoli rabe but they say your taste buds change every 8 years so here goes nothing.  

Tony G: Turkey, Broccoli Rabe, Provolone, Sun-Dried Tomatoes, Balsamic Glaze

I actually liked this sandwich much more than I thought I would after looking at the ingredients. (Character growth at age 30). Of course, the turkey really shines on this sandwich, look at all of it but sun-dried tomatoes are totally underrated and really work in harmony with the broccoli rabe. The broccoli rabe is definitely an acquired taste but hey, grow up.  This is a solid summer option for a sandwich, I'm just really glad I got it when it was 34 degrees outside. At least there are only 90 DAYS UNTIL MEMORIAL DAY. 

Rating: 7.1/10

And to keep it super optimistic for anyone else who is about to close the book on their 20s here's an incredibly relatable song by The Menzingers.  Enjoy.  

*If you are wondering what the 'Anthony G' would be it's this: Turkey, Pepper Jack, Jalapeno peppers, banana peppers, tomatoes, onion, chipotle mayo. Panini Pressed. 

Sandwich Challenge: Donnie Brasco

Thanks to the older siblings of my classmates in the public school system of NJ, there were two movies I wanted to see on my 8th birthday.  The first was Booty Call (I've always loved rom-coms) and the second was Donnie Brasco (I learned at an early age that Al Pacino was the greatest actor to ever live).  Needless to say, I wasn't allowed to see either of them that year so I had to settle for Jungle 2 Jungle.  The film laid dormant in my mind until, at age 22, I signed up for my very own Netflix account and my parents had NO idea what I was watching (more rom-coms let's be honest).  That's when one night, Netflix's advanced sabermetrics recommended Donnie Brasco and I'm glad they did because at that time I only thought there were two good movies starring Johnny Depp.  The movie is the true story about FBI agent Joe Pistone working undercover in the Bonanno crime family under the alias Donnie Brasco.  Pistone is played by Depp who gets in with aging gangster Lefty Ruggiero, played by Al Pacino by calling out a diamond dealer for selling Ruggiero a fake ring. I have no idea how the hell they fell for the fakest name of all time but after that, Pistone gets into the crew while struggling to keep his mob life and real-life separate.  In the end, he brings down Ruggiero for a nice $500 check and a medal, which is what I hope to receive when I eat all of these sandwiches.

The Donnie Brasco: Shaved Grilled Chicken, Vermont Cheddar, Bistro Sauce

There are just as many ingredients in this sandwich as there are good Johnny Depp movies, three, but don't let that stop you from enjoying the show.  This panini hits all of the points, solid meat (grilled chicken), melted cheddar that will make you lament the fact that you don't eat grilled cheese enough, and homemade bistro sauce.  What the hell is bistro sauce? I honestly have no idea exactly what it is it's not like I'm running a food blog here. It tasted like horseradish (amazing as is), mayo and mustard.  We as a people need this to become a more mainstream condiment, get bleu cheese OUT of here.  Classic case of less is more with this panini, one I would definitely put in my rotation.  

Rating: 8.1/10

The Great Lake Placid PEC Special

Every year around this time, my friends and I take a pilgrimage to the frozen wonders of  Lake Placid, NY (Canada), home of the storied Miracle on Ice and giant alligators.  Generally, we have the trip down to a science: get way too drunk Friday night, snowboard Whiteface with a debilitating hangover, shot-skis at the lodge, lose our voices singing karaoke, wake up power hour, vodka red bulls at Zig-Zags. Rinse, repeat. Or in my case ice bath (I fall down the mountain a lot.) This year, we didn't only do all of the above activities. We were lucky enough to witness our best friend, Mike, propose at the top of a fucking mountain before our first run.  Congrats and thank you for setting the bar way high on proposals. In all seriousness, it was such an honor being there this weekend.  For the folks at home, this engagement was a 10/10.  

But we're not here to rate engagements, we're here to rate pork rolls, and friends, I had a lot of them this weekend.  When you're holding in a secret as big as the one I just told you about, you have no choice but to stuff your face with food.  In my case, I secretly judged every single pork roll, egg and cheese I ate throughout the weekend.  Here are the results, power ranked. Incredibly, the longer the weekend went, the worse it got. 


1. Brian & Mike

The first PEC of the weekend was really the only true one.  You may say just by showing up with all the ingredients they won by default.  This sandwich erased any signs of whiskey-induced "dehydration" I had that morning and what fueled me tearing up all the green slopes Whiteface had to offer.  Working as a team definitely had its advantages for them, like Brian melting the cheese in between the slices of pork roll.  With a liability like Mike handling the eggs, the score almost slipped to 2nd place.  I'll chalk up the eggs to pre-proposal jitters, I still ate the thing in 2.3 seconds.  

2. Matt & Chrissy

Sometime around 2am* night 2, I caught a whiff of the unmistakable smell of pork roll on the grill.  Did it concern me that the smoke alarm was about to go off? A little.  But what I found was a husband and wife assembly line of late night snacks that would give us the energy we needed to stay up all night.   No eggs due to Matt almost smoking us out of the house and into minus 10-degrees but really we didn't need them.  These were power fuel needed to hit the Celine Dion notes going down in the next room.  

*I checked the timestamp on when I took this picture and it was actually 11:18pm. HA.

300. El Jefe Eats

No picture exists of the monstrosity of a breakfast sandwich I made Sunday morning before everyone woke up.  All I know is that if I didn't eat something, anything within 10 minutes of me waking up, I would have surely not made it out of Lake Placid alive, let alone participate in our Sunday morning power hour.  The cuts of pork roll were too thick, they were likely undercooked.  Forget eggs, couldn't find the pan.  Bread toasted almost burnt.  And unmelted, cold cheese.  An absolutely embarrassing performance under duress that I'm glad only I witnessed.  Don't worry, I will be ready next time when the gang spends an entire week in OBX.

Sandwich Challenge: The Al Capone

Looking for a heartwarming Valentine's Day story? Let's go back in time to 1929, in the heat of prohibition America.  Two feuding gangs of Catholic immigrants vie for control of Chicago's underground liquor trade, the Irish of the Northside and the Italians of the Southside.  On this day 80 years ago, Al Capone, leader of the Southside crime organization, planned to murder seven high-level Northside crime operatives, dubbed the St. Valentine's Day Massacre.  If you don't know who Al Capone is, he's the guy Robert DeNiro played in The Untouchables and also the most famous gangster in American history. He would later get convicted on tax evasion and spend 7 years in jail, where he lost his mind to cocaine withdrawal and syphilis.  To help mend the Italian-Irish relationship I will be taking my very Irish girlfriend to a nice steak dinner tonight. Now that's romance.  

The Al Capone: Grilled Chicken, Spinach, Avocado, Swiss Cheese, Red Wine Vinegar

I've gotta be honest, I'm not sure why this sandwich is named after Al Capone as it is a fairly healthy option and weighing in around 250 lbs the man was not the picture of health.  I like to think of the avocado on this sandwich as a tribute to Capone's time on Alcatraz (get it because California loves avocados), but really this sandwich just reminded me of summer. Grilled chicken is something you just always have at a NJ BBQ and this chicken does not disappoint. So if you're looking to impress your Valentine with all the major New Years gains you've made at the gym, maybe go with this one.  And try to get the thought of a 250-pound, syphilis-ridden, gangster of yesteryear out of your head.  Happy Valentine's Day!

Rating: 6.9/10

PEC Challenge: Hot Bagels Brooklyn's Finest

Happy National Bagel Day!! Seems like every day is a different "National ___ Day" but what I need to know is who decided that Bagel Day and Pizza Day would be the same day? As a New Jersey resident, this is extremely conflicting, but everyone knows carbs don't count on weekends.  So get out there and enjoy your favorite bagel or pizzeria.  Better yet, go make yourself some pizza bagels for a late night snack after drinking a few chardonnays tonight.  

  

So how the hell could a place in Red Bank, NJ claim to be Brooklyn's finest? Well, I met the owner and he's definitely from Brooklyn so that's good enough for me. (In actuality I observed a guy I assumed to be the owner interact with someone on the phone.) The thing I noticed most about this place was how clean it was, but that could be because it's a fairly new place. (New to me is anything that opened in the last 10 years.) The bagels here are very good and the best part is you can order them online to deliver to you for FREE. You can thank me tomorrow morning.

Bread Rating: 8/10 (You already know)

Pork Roll Rating: 8.4/10 (Thickly sliced FTW)

Egg Rating: 8.3/10 (A lot of egg on here, it's fried so no complaints)

Cheese Rating: 6.7/10 (Simple, average cheese)

Sandwich Composition: 7.6/10 (It's tough to get it right and to keep a sandwich together when it's on a bagel but the ratio seemed to be right on this one.  Not too messy but was able to keep everything in order without skimping on pork roll or egg.)

Overall: 7.8/10 (Pretty legit spot made even more clutch with the delivery option)

Price: $4.75, cards accepted and takes online orders ahead for pickup and delivery.  

Hot Bagels Brooklyn's Finest is located at 368 Broad St. Red Bank, NJ 07701.  It's on an awkward corner of Broad and Maple so enter the parking lot from Maple Ave.

Sandwich Challenge: The Blazin' Saddle

On this day 45 years ago, one of the most outrageous comedies in film history was released.  Of course, it's none other than Mel Brooks' western satire, Blazing Saddles. Starring Cleavon Little and Gene Wilder, it is currently ranked at #6 on the AFI's top 100 comedies, and there is no way any studio would release this film today. The film satirizes the racism obscured by John Wayne and Clint Eastwood's mythical jaunts in the American West by making the hero a black sheriff in an all-white town.  I won't describe the plot here (it's ridiculously offensive), just go find the movie this weekend and watch it.  As someone who co-hosts a hit movie podcast and recently attained 100% completion in Red Dead Redemption 2, you can trust me.  

The Blazin' Saddle: Sliced Chicken Breast, Pepper Jack cheese, tomatoes, hot peppers, Frank's hot sauce

This panini is one I would typically order just by judging by the ingredients.  Anytime you can get Frank's hot sauce and hot peppers on a sandwich I am in.  It is, however, very run of the mill, and I was not expecting the tomatoes to be on there.  They overpowered the taste of the hot peppers and Frank's red hot, which should come as a relief for people who can't handle the heat.  This panini is not nearly as spicy as the movie, unfortunately. 

Rating: 6.5/10


Here's an iconic line that you probably didn't know was from this movie. 

PEC Challenge: Atlantic Bagel Company 3

So how about that Super Bowl? While we sit here contemplating what we are all doing at work today, let's talk about bagel franchises.  Back in Virginia, there were only a few places to get bagels and they were all franchises. I'll let you guess which franchises they were in the comments below but only one could maybe count as a "bagel shop." Will I make a trip down there to lowlight them? You bet. ABC is one of three in the area, with locations in Rumson as well as Atlantic Highlands. We'll get to the Gem's empire and their SIX locations later.    

Atlantic Bagel Company took over this deli location around 6 years ago but the place will always have a special spot in my heart.  Why? Because what you are looking at above is just up the hill from the street I grew up on.  Almost every day, my friends and I would ride our bikes to this deli after school for our prescription of peach rings and Vitamin Water (shout out 50 Cent).  A few years later, it would become an oasis of hangover remedies, only a short but long quarter mile walk I would make on almost every holiday I spent visiting into adulthood.  Is this the best place to get a PEC in town? Certainly not. But when you're staring down the barrel at a debilitating hangover sometimes all you need to do is look down the street.       

Bread Rating: 6.2/10 (Not the greatest bagel in the world, but better than bagels out of state)

Pork Roll Rating: 6.4/10 (Could have used an extra slice)

Egg Rating: 7.2/10 (They actually do the opposite of Johnny's and put multiple layers of egg around the pork roll)

Cheese Rating: 6.2/10 (Average Kraft single like cheese you'd probably find at most places)

Sandwich Composition: 6.3/10 (a TON of ketchup, you'll definitely need a napkin for this one.) 

Overall: 6.4/10 (Just like last night's Super Bowl, it exists)

Price: $4.75, cards require $10 minimum 

Atlantic Bagel Company 3 is located at 283 NJ-35 (Seaside Highway), Red Bank, NJ 07701

*I always wanted to buy this place and called it Sunken City deli after the neighborhood I grew up in so if you're from ABC name your price.  Also, I know next to nothing about running a deli so I'm hiring.