Sandwich Challenge: The Marilyn Monroe

Friends, beach season is finally upon us and with it, I will be bringing to you the "healthier" options from Taliercio's.  This may not surprise any of you but the next four sandwiches are ones I would most definitely never order (three of them don't have any meats).  But just know I'm doing this for you, the people (and the beach body I haven't had since 2009). In celebration, I'll be reviewing TWO sandwiches in this blog.  I'll just get the first one out of the way now since it was the only healthy decision I made this past weekend.  

"The Healthy Choice" (actual name of the sandwich), was a lot like being healthy, it was boring.  It had a huge amount of honey maple turkey, swiss and everyone's favorite healthy topping, cucumber.  Don't get me wrong, cucumber is fine (whenever you get it from a Hibachi restaurant and it's drenched in dressing and oils), but this sandwich was a little comical if I'm telling the truth.  No condiments here because we're being healthy, so take your red vinegar and go.  

Overall: 5.4/10

The Healthy Choice: Honey Maple Turkey, Swiss, Cucumber, Red Onion, Red Vinegar

One of America's first bikini models and arguably the world's most famous sex symbol, Marilyn Monroe, born Norma Jeane Mortenson, owned pop culture of the 1950s.  More than fifty years after her tragic death, she remains one of the most photographed people in history, a distinction I'm sure has already been broken by some random woman on Instagram.  Many people may remember her for the modeling (she was the centerfold and cover of the first issue of Playboy), playing the blonde bombshell, or having an affair with the President of the United States (no, this wasn't Donald Trump, it was JFK, read a book), but she was also an accomplished actress with a Golden Globe win for 1959s Some Like It Hot (not an adult film, you sick fucks).  

The Marilyn Monroe: Sauteed Vegetables, Mozzarella, Roasted Peppers, Balsamic Vinegarette

This panini is literally just vegetables and mozzarella, the perfect choice for any vegetarians in the crowd.  I'm not one of those vegetarians.  It is light enough that it won't make you feel like you can't be seen at the beach for at least 2 days after eating it.  There was a lot of mozzarella on this, which was awesome, but it didn't totally pop the way it did on the Peter Lugar.  The roasted vegetables included: fried eggplant, cucumber (much better when sauteed), zucchini, peppers, and onions.  With two more vegetarian options to go, it will be interesting to see how they could change it up. 

Overall 5.7/10 

National Pork Roll Day Special! Johnny's Pulled Pork Roll

Happy National Pork Roll Day! I'll be honest, I was never aware of this day's existence.  It might strike people as strange that a "national" day would be devoted to a breakfast meat you can effectively only find in New Jersey.  But we are here to spread the good word of pork roll and it's place as the superior breakfast meat.  As local legend would have it, pork roll has existed in New Jersey since the Revolutionary War, as the cured meat was easy to transport and cook for the soldiers of the Continental Army.  Pork roll as it's known today was officially introduced by John Taylor 80 years later in 1856 when his secret recipe of cured pork product was mass produced and packed in, you guessed it, a cylindrical cotton bag.  Here's where things get testy for New Jerseyians so stay with me.  In 1870, George Washington Case created his recipe and brand of pork roll.  Taylor's version, Original Taylor Pork Roll, was then referred to as Taylor Ham (what North Jerseyians, like my mom, still call pork roll).  Don't worry the Government, in its infinite wisdom, will surely clear this up!  Since Pork Roll is not technically ham according to the Pure Food and Drug Act of 1906, Taylor was forced to change the name of his product from Taylor's Prepared Ham to Pork Roll.  However, since there were other manufacturers of Pork Roll, Taylor was unable to trademark the name for himself in 1910.  Therefore, all Taylor Ham is Pork Roll BUT not all Pork Roll is Taylor Ham.  Make sense? Perfect.  No matter what you call it, there's no denying it's importance in New Jersey culture and history.  I'll never forget the first time I had a pork roll sandwich and every time I eat one I'm reminded of all the good times I've had growing up here.  (I mean it should be obvious if you've been reading this blog since January how much I fucking love pork roll.) 

I couldn't think of a better place to celebrate today's holiday than to get a pork roll sandwich from one of NJ's best Pork Roll purveyor's, Johnny Pork Roll.  I've already written about how awesome Johnny's storefront location is and in almost half a year of doing this haven't found a place to supplant him from the PEC throne.  Since Memorial Day Weekend is set to begin tomorrow (!!!), and with it the unofficial start of the summer, I decided to go with the Pulled Pork Roll Sandwich today.  On this one, we get pork roll (duh) accompanied by cheddar, sweet BBQ sauce, and sweet slaw.  I can just see my Southern friends rolling their eyes right now. Well, friends, this sandwich was delicious and sure there wasn't any pulled pork on it, but honestly, I didn't even miss it. Who says pork roll can only be breakfast meat?  Today, we are breaking down barriers and declaring pork roll as acceptable for any time of the day! So don't be shy if you sleep in this weekend, hit up Johnny's and let one of his many pork roll sandwich variations get you back on that horse.  

PEC Challenge: Fredy Jeremy's

It's taken me a couple of days to process the completion of Game of Thrones.  When the series started, I was living in a mouse-infested, questionably run house in Northeast D.C. (RIP, The Dougie).  And since then I have never watched two seasons living in the same place.  From Alexandria highrises to townhomes in Arlington, Game of Thrones has been a part of my entire "adult*" life. (*LOL who are we kidding, I'm not an adult.)  Ever since episode 4 ended with several River Knights holding Tyrion Lannister at swordpoint at the request of Catelyn Stark, I was hooked.  The political intrigue, the medieval story, the cinematography, and the MUSIC. We may never see a series captivate such an audience again (until the inevitable spinoffs disappoint the internet.) And that's just the problem with popular cultural events, isn't it?  "You either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain." I'll always love Game of Thrones despite the clearly rushed conclusion and upon rewatching the series finale, I don't think it was nearly as bad as everyone made it out to be on the internet. Aside from the memes (which have been amazing), I'll save the discussion about the negative effects of the internet and social media on culture and politics for another time and place (this is a food blog, FFS).  Here are my takeaways for the FINAL EPISODE Game of Thrones, long may you reign: 

-A little strange that Jamie and Cersei weren't more crushed by that entire stone beam falling on them, I might have just opted to show the golden hand in that scene and left the rest out.  Still, Peter Dinklage (Tyrion) makes it more emotional a scene than it ever should have been.  He's the acting MVP of the series for sure. (I would also like to point out Peter Dinklage is from New Jersey but this had no effect on my MVP vote at all.)

-Every monologue from Dany's Valyrian speech of future conquests, to Tyrion speaking on governing people with Jon while imprisoned, and back to Dany's plea of a new world to Jon Snow before being murdered, were excellently written and thought-provoking. But now that everyone is an online expert on politics I'm sure you all caught and understood everything there so that's all I'll say about it.  

-Is anyone going to point out the fact that Robyn Aryn became the Neville Longbottom of Westeros by winning best makeover? This season has been low-key sponsored by "Got Milk?" and the Dairy Farmers of America.

-Everyone keeps asking, "If Bran could see into the future, why didn't he do anything to stop Drogon from destroying Kings Landing?" Well, I ask you, do you know how hard it is to renovate ancient buildings to become ADA-approved?  Who's supposed to carry him up all the stairs in the Tower of the Hand now that Hodor is long gone? Dude needed the place leveled so he can put elevators and ramps in, so stop being so insensitive. 

-If history serves true, Arya will find a new world, slaughter majority of the indigenous population, take their faces and get Westeros addicted to sugar and tobacco.  

-OR...she's just sailing to the undying lands like Frodo and the Elves of Middle Earth at the end of Lord of the Rings. (Nerd alert).

-I know a lot of people are upset about what happened to Jon Snow. Why was it such a big deal/secret that he was a Targaryen if he was just going to end up back in the north? But in a way, this fits his purpose of being reborn. He wasn't brought back to rule from the Iron Throne, he was brought back to help the wildling resettlement.  He could never rule in the seven kingdoms as a Queenslayer.  

-Speaking of "the Prince that was Promised" prophecies and all of the other fantasy aspects of the show that were blatantly omitted.  It's maddeningly obvious that HBO directed D&D to leave a lot of this out and left open for exploration through their spinoffs.  Because once something becomes as popular as Game of Thrones it becomes a brand and why tell a good story when you're making money hand over fist. Maybe if George R.R. Martin wouldn't have delayed his book releases until after the show so he could make the appropriate changes to them after the final season aired and make even more money on book sales, we wouldn't be in this mess.  

 

Fredy Jeremy's isn't known for their pork roll, egg and cheese sandwiches.  They do, however, have excellent pupusas and many other El Salvadorian lunch dishes.  So how did they stack up? 

Bread Rating: 7.6/10 (A toasted Spanish roll that got a little heavy at the end.  Still very good)

Pork Roll Rating: 7.8/10 (Three slices with a SURPRISE slice beneath the eggs and cheese, always great to find one of those.) 

Egg Rating: 8.8/10 (Two huge fried eggs, expertly cooked.)

Cheese Rating: 7.6/10 (A lot of melted American)

Sandwich Composition: 8.7/10 (With the surprise pork roll slice, uniqueness of the bread and prevalence of egg, this sandwich was held together perfectly.)

Overall Rating: 8.1/10 (I'm really glad I'm finding these places I would never think to go to for a PEC.  If you ever find yourself getting your car washed at Butch's, make sure you check this place out right next door. And if you've never had pupusas, check it out.)

Price: $5, cards accepted with a $10 minimum.

Fredy Jeremy's is located at 168 Newman Springs Rd, Red Bank, NJ 07701

Sandwich Challenge: The Stewart

Let's just forget the fact that after witnessing the Mets take the first game of the series in D.C. earlier this week, I may have just mushed them by skipping #daygamedogs today to win the series.  Sitting around .500 after a grueling opening schedule, the Mets absolutely need to show up against the weaker teams they're about to go up against for the rest of the month.  Don't hold your breath waiting, they just went down 4-0 in the 1st inning.  Ok, now to another ambiguously named sandwich, hang on tight. 

The name Stewart draws origins in Scotland meaning "household guardian."  Following the Norman Conquest of England, a Breton knight (a mercenary from the Brittany region of France) settled in England.  Walter FitzAlan, decided to change his name to Walter Stewart since he was the High Steward of Scotland.  Confused? It gets better.  Walter married Marjorie Bruce (the daughter of that cowardly King Robert the Bruce who left Mel Gibson out to dry in Braveheart) and founded the royal House of Stewart.  Reining from 1371(spoiler alert from Braveheart) until union with England in 1707, the House of Stuart (spelling changed by Queen Mary because why the fuck not?) was the longest-serving royal dynasty of Scotland.  You may know some of these famous Stewarts: Martha, Rod, Kristen, and New Jersey native, Jon.  Jon Stewart actually owns a 12-acre farm in Middletown which is used as a sanctuary for abused animals though I'm going to say a sandwich featuring grilled chicken is not named after a vegetarian.  (Sorry, Jon)

The Stewart: Grilled Chicken, Baby Swiss, Lettuce, Tomato, Honey Mustard

I've written about the grilled chicken during my Valentine's Day ode to Al Capone, but now that we are only ONE WEEK away from Memorial Day it seems more appropriate to fawn over grilled chicken.  This is 100% a summer sandwich and the honey mustard really brings it all together.  Not much else to say here for this one, it's a solid, par for the course sandwich.   

Overall: 7.1/10

PEC Challenge: Valdetano's Shack

Last night's penultimate (ultimate time we'll use that word) Game of Thrones episode may have surprised and confused a lot of people.  Sure, things may feel rushed the last two seasons as the writers quickly wrap up a sprawling story as conveniently as possible, but the truth is Daenerys "Stormborn" Targaryen, the First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regent of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons, has been on this path since the beginning of the show.  Let's look back at when she ate the heart of a horse and had her brother brutally murdered by her husband, or when she threatened a city of merchants (Qarth) with fire and blood if they didn't give her ships, or when she had the elites of Meereen crucified (they were complicit in slavery so we should feel good about this), or when she threatened to burn cities to the ground almost every scene in the first five seasons.  The fact is, without the council of her advisors throughout the years, she has made pretty violent decisions on her own.  Now, with no trusted advisors left to reel her in, she broke (or fulfilled her destiny), and basically nuked an entire city. Remember, we have seen some of these shots before in Bran's visions as well as when the warlocks of Qarth sent Dany on a vision quest in Season 2.   Here are the rest of my takeaways from the episode, which I thought was awesome:

-How about a little danger close warnings on that dragon execution, Dany? Everyone was basically 5 feet away from Varys when "Operation Dracarys" was executed, might want to give people some time to take a step back.

-Does Jon Snow lifting his incest #sexstrike on Khaleesi save Kings Landing? These are questions we may never know the answer to. 

-How absolutely useless was the Golden Company? LOL

-Jamie and Cersei going out like that was the only glaring weak point of the episode for me, though the fact that Danerys basically fulfilled her fathers dying wish and killed Jamie in the destruction is a little poetic. And although I really wanted to see a Stark take out Cersei in a terrible way, you almost feel bad for her in a way.  

-Shoutout Miguel Sapochnik who's directed some of the coolest shots I have seen in Game of Thrones, from Drogon destroying all of Kings Landing's defenses, the very hype #CleganeBowl, and the final shot of Arya finding that horse in the midst of that rubble (I think Bran might have warged that horse there for her).  

-It all comes to an end next week and it's obvious that Jon Snow has no choice now but to kill Daenerys and rule over whatever remains of the Seven Kingdoms.  

When I was a kid, Valdetano's Shack was a Slater's Deli.  Following a few hard fought games of foam ball ™, we would venture through the possibly haunted, definitely poison ivy infested "woods" that led from our neighborhood to the back of the deli for subs and Vitamin Water.  Now, the deli has been converted into more of a cafe, with additional menu items that include, tacos, burritos and many other traditional Mexican dishes.  I really, really liked the vibe in there and they absolutely crushed it with their Pork Roll, Egg, and Cheese.  I'll likely be back to try the pork roll, egg, and cheese with chorizo that was on the menu but for now...

Bread Rating: 8.4/10 (A soft yet slightly toasted potato roll)

Pork Roll Rating: 9.1/10 (Double layered with four slices, griddle game on point)

Egg Rating: 8.8/10 (Absolutely crushed it with the two fried eggs)

Cheese Rating: 7.6/10 (Melted yellow American and a lot of it)

Sandwich Composition: 9.1/10 (Idyllic SPK ratio, a double layered sandwich that was big but didn't make you feel disgusting after eating it. I LOVED this sandwich)

Overall Rating: 8.6/10

Price: $4.50, cards accepted 

Valdetano's Shack is located at 379 NJ-35, Red Bank (Middletown), NJ 07701

Sandwich Challenge: Petey C

I'm not sure where this sandwich name comes from (probably someone with the first name Pete and last name that starts with C).  Since it probably isn't named after my college roommate during my pre-study abroad Junior Year (shoutout Pete, great guy), I went ahead and Googled "Pete C."  Here are the top five results: 

Pete Carroll Seattle Seahawks head coach

Famous for: gum chewing and calling a pass play on the 1-yard line with 25 seconds to go in the Super Bowl when Marshawn Lynch is standing right there. 

Pete Correale, Comedian

Famous for: Co-hosting a comedy show on satellite radio with Sebastian Maniscalco and writing the CBS sitcom Kevin Can Wait.  I don't have any personal experience with either of his works so let's just move on. 

Pete Campbell, fictional character from Mad Men

I've never watched Mad Men so I know next to nothing about this character other than he's married to Alison Brie's character but cheats on her constantly (I think the point of the show is men cheating on their wives) and he's from the whitest family you could possibly write on television.  

Pete Chatman, Pianist-Singer specializing in Blues known as Memphis Slim

Famous for: Writing the blues standard"Every Day I Have the Blues" in 1947, being from Memphis. 

Pete Castiglione, Baseball player

Not only is Pete Castiglione the alias of Frank Castle in The Punisher but he was also the shortstop of the Pittsburgh Pirates from 1947-1953.  He had his best season in 1951 when he batted .261 with 7 home runs and 42 RBIs.  The more you know. 

Petey C: Prosciutto, Fried Eggplant, Provolone, Roasted Peppers, Balsamic Vinegar

As much as I want to love every sandwich I eat here because I love Taliercio's, I couldn't get behind this one.  But that's why I'm doing this challenge, to try them all so I could ultimately rank them.  The fried eggplant is very good but for me, prosciutto and provolone are at the bottom of their respective categories as far as meat and cheese go.  Definitely, a personal taste thing so the last thing I would do would be to dissuade you from eating this sandwich if these ingredients call to you, they just didn't for me.  

Overall: 5.8/10 

PEC Challenge: Bloomin Bagels

I had the pleasure of visiting my sister in lovely Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania this weekend.  Right off famed trucking route I-80 (the interstate runs from NY to San Francisco), this little mountain town boasts deals such as $1 vodka drinks every Friday night (including vodka red bulls!), and exactly one Uber driver to get you to the bar that serves them.  What I wasn't expecting from this former iron-mining town (they are the only actual incorporated town in the state of Pennsylvania) was not one but two locations for a pork roll, egg, and cheese.  As the only place to get bagels in town, Bloomin Bagel does pretty good business especially with a population of students from the Tri-State area. Before we get into how they did, let's talk about some Game of Thrones.

-Prepare yourselves for the "Mad Queen." After losing another dragon and her best friend (Missande), expect Khalessi to really lose it next week.  How in the world did she not see the huge Greyjoy fleet when she was in the air, I will never know.  Yet another example of the showrunners never playing a turn-based military strategy PC game ever in their lives.

-Especially since Jon Snow's stock is rising and she knows it.  The opening speech in last night's episode was Kingly AF. AND thanks to his big honorable mouth pretty much everyone knows he's a Targaryen now.

-Everyone that lost their virginity this season did so on a one night stand and the writers want you to know it. Arya placed Gendry directly in the friend zone after their jaunt, and Jamie gave Brienne the old "be an asshole so you don't follow me to kill my sister" trick to keep her from getting clingy. 

-They are definitely setting up an interesting conclusion in the next two episodes.  For a show that has historically excelled in the final episodes of seasons, I have no doubt Game of Thrones finishes strong.  

Bread Rating: 4.8/10 (This was apparently a bagel, bless their hearts.)

Pork Roll Rating: 6.2/10 (Two slices, kind of expected when importing pork roll out of state.  Also, it seems every out of state deli uses the same pork roll brand.)

Egg Rating: 5.2/10 (You'd figure being in PA that you would get really fresh eggs that are cooked to perfection. WRONG. )

Cheese Rating: 8.4/10 (The use of white American cheese was veteran and made the save on this sandwich.)

Sandwich Composition Rating: 6.6/10 (The SPK ratio was good, could have used one or two more pieces of pork roll, looked a little sad.)

Overall Rating: 6.1/10 (Look, if you're from NJ; Bloomsburg, PA is one of the LAST places you'd think to find a pork roll, egg and cheese so good on them for even thinking about serving them.) 

Price: $4, credit accepted

Bloomin Bagels II is located at 599 E. 7th St. Bloomsburg, PA 17815.  The original location is located at 65 E. Main St, Bloomsburg, PA 17815.

Sandwich Challenge: The Gusto

No, we're not talking about the online payroll services.  (That's the first thing that appears when you Google "gusto.")  It's the sandwich named after what I would assume is an individual or special taste.  But today, we are going in a different direction.  That's right, we are translating gusto into Spanish, and guess what? Gusto ALSO means taste in that language too.  Now you can impress all of your friends while celebrating Cinco de Mayo this weekend.  Buckle up because you're all about to be taken on another history lesson.

Cinco de Mayo is often mistaken for Mexico's Independence Day by Americans let down by our stellar school systems.  (Mexican Independence is actually September 16th, join us on our 4th annual Margaritour this year.) From a U.S. perspective, Cinco de Mayo does hold a significant piece of history.  After the much smaller Mexican forces embarrassed the French (the French army was on a 50-year win streak) at the Battle of Puebla in 1862, France was deterred from joining the side of the Confederate States of America (kind of a big deal for freedom).  France had lost a significant portion of their empire, especially in the Americas during the costly Napoleonic Wars (and helping America gain independence) that they came to collect on Mexican debts hoping to reignite their American colonial interests.  The Battle of Puebla marks the final time a country in the Americas was invaded by a European military force, which is something everyone living in North and South America can be proud of and celebrate.  Stay thirsty, my friends. 

The Gusto: Ham, Mozzarella, Artichoke Hearts, Romano Cheese, Olive Oil

There is almost nothing Mexican about this sandwich, unfortunately.  But Taliercio's does do another masterful job of complementing flavors.  You really never know what to expect when you add artichoke hearts to something, but it worked well with the ham and mozzarella.  I'm not sure who discovered that artichokes could be edible (they've historically been known as garden flowers), but when marinated and cooked they really do have a nice flavor.  Did you know Italy produces almost twice as much artichokes than the next highest producer?  I thought this was a fine sandwich, definitely elevated by the presence of mozzarella, and the ham is cut super thin which is always a plus.  

Overall: 6.7/10

In other news, enjoy your Cinco de Mayo celebrations with new Rodrigo y Gabriela and then check out the band Metalachi.  You're welcome. 

Day Game Dogs: G&G Hot Dogs

Welcome back to another edition of Day Game Dogs! Last night, the Mets lost yet again on a 9th inning home run to the lowly Cincinnati Reds.  Not great! Today, they finish off a 4 game series with a day game against the Reds and new rival Jessie Winker.  If Syndergaard pitches terribly again I'm sending Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake up to Queens to cut his hair, it's our only option.  

This afternoon's day game dog comes from a hot dog truck that's been in the same spot for at least 50 years.  G&G's longtime owner, Gus, retired and handed over the keys to his son-in-law who is continuing the legacy of boiled Sabrett dogs serving the greater Red Bank area.  You've most likely passed this truck while crossing the railroad tracks near The Galleria but you've made a grave mistake if you haven't stopped for a dog.  No frills here, you either want a hot dog or Italian sausage with onions, relish, sauerkraut, and chili (or you can do what I did and got all of the above plus mustard).  It's cash only ($2.50 for everything on it), and the line is usually 4 to 5 deep at all times which is how you know its the real deal.  The recipe for everything has stayed the same so if you've had these hot dogs years ago, you'll be thrilled to relive them again today. I'll leave you with their motto on the side of the truck "Try it, you'll like it."  #LGM 

8.4/10