Sandwich Challenge: The Dirty South

Hello, me again, the guy living out of his suitcase for the past five weeks back with another location-based grilled cheese from Taliercio's.  In about twelve hours from now, I will be joining a caravan of characters (my best friends) as we drive down to the lovely barrier islands of North Carolina for an entire week on the beach. (This is also known as my dream vacation).  Sure, seeing new places is cool and all but you can always count on a week at the beach doing absolutely nothing except sunning, reading, and drinking (at the same time) to recharge the batteries.  This will be the first time in nearly a decade  I've been to the Outer Banks and I'm honestly not sure who allowed a group of ten degenerates from New Jersey rent their house (we historically have shared a house with our slightly more responsible parents).  But this year, we have our own "kid" house (down the street from the "adult" house), which is weird to think about considering I'm thirty fucking years old.  In celebration of these newfound responsibilities and our outrageous itinerary of "themed days",  I sampled the Taliercio's grilled cheese aptly named The Dirty South.  As New Jersey's resident Southerner (I can't even say that with a straight face), I felt only I could judge this grilled cheese for what it really is.  But first I'd like to apologize in advance to any of the good people who unfortunately have to share the same week as us in OBX.  I'm sorry for having fun.  Now let's get to the grilled cheese, The Dirty South. 

The Dirty South: Mac & Cheese and Pulled Pork

This grilled cheese is simply two ingredients and honestly if I polled any town in New Jersey to name southern cuisine these are the only things they would be able to come up with: Pulled Pork and Mac & Cheese.  Usually, in BBQ restaurants, both of these things would be available in a pint together, but not here.  Because we're doing sandwiches here.  So yes, was the pulled pork actually just pieces of pork drenched in BBQ sauce? Yes, but that doesn't matter because it still tasted good! (Be gone BBQ elitists).  I would call for more mac & cheese representation in sandwiches if we didn't already have a heart disease problem in this country.  Obviously, we aren't going to eat this every day BUT if you like BBQ pork and you like mac & cheese you should definitely check this out.  Would it hold up in the South? Probably because those people would eat anything.  I mean they think Olive Garden is the pinnacle of Italian cooking for fuck's sake. (Love y'all).  Anyway, if anything's for certain it's that after eating that grilled cheese my beach body is ready. 

Overall: 8.4/10

Bay Area Meals: Ranked

I know, I know.  "I thought this was a blog about sandwiches in New Jersey?" Well, every now and then, I'm going to break the rules and since I've never traveled to this area before I figured why not Bourdain it (RIP).  Since I only spent one night in SF and the rest of the time in Los Altos, I probably didn't experience the very best cuisine the Bay Area had to offer but I was able to cover a lot of ground over the course of an extended weekend.  Overall, it was a great time, the landscape was beautiful, the weather was perfect (except when there was a 30-degree temperature difference between my hotel and the beach), and the National Parks Service on Alcatraz gave a much better prison tour than the Monmouth County Correctional Facility Scared Straight program did (no offense).  I couldn't help but get some serious Florida vibes from the area, I'm not sure if it was the newness of most development, the five-lane highways, or the amount of eccentric white people I observed.  Anyway, you're probably here for the food so let's get into it. 

9. Seabright Brewery, Steamed Clams, Santa Cruz

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Before the hair and makeup of the wedding I attended, I had almost an entire day to myself for exploration.  Since it was 90 degrees in Palo Alto, I figured I'd take the drive to Santa Cruz (made recently famous by the movie "Us) to check out the beach and boardwalk.  I probably shouldn't have been surprised to find out that it was actually cold at the beach and that since it was the first weekend of the summer everyone would be there.  While driving around, I passed Seabright Brewery, which I thought was pretty funny considering Sea Bright is the beach I frequent in New Jersey.  I will say the beer here was pretty good, the clams, however, were not great.  

8. A Good Morning Cafe, Breakfast Burrito, Los Altos

I honestly wasn't planning on going to this place but after our Redwood Hike took about 2 hours less than we thought it would, we just decided to stop in here before heading to the airport to leave.  I wanted to get a quick bite before heading to an In and Out near the airport, BUT, when you flash the words spicy, chorizo, and burrito in front of my face I will have no choice but to order it.  Plus no one in this cafe understood English so I figured this had to be a win.  It was just OK.  

7. Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum, Hot Dog, Oakland

After playing in a post-wedding softball game, I was inspired to spend the rest of the day watching baseball.  So, we took the ride out to catch the 1pm Rays-A's game which of course warranted the purchase of some day-game dogs.  The stadium itself is beyond old, and the hallways reminded me a lot of the old Giant's Stadium (which makes sense because this stadium also hosts NFL games somehow).  It was a great experience though, as everyone there seemed to genuinely love the A's which is nice to see.  (I guess I'm just used to games in DC where people couldn't give two shits about baseball and are just there for "business" purposes).  The hot dogs were a good price ($6) for how big they were. 

6. Estrellita Mexican Bistro, Oaxaca Chicken, Los Altos

Estrellita has been serving the Los Altos area since 1958 and with that kind of longevity, I figured it had to be good.  You don't find many places serving Mexican food from Oaxaca so I decided on going with the Oaxaca chicken instead of my usual steak fajita order.  I'm glad I did because the seasoning on this chicken was the shit.  A perfect balance of spicy and tangy with some pretty decent black beans (made better by the queso fresco) and a mini cheese quesadilla.  Since we have had nothing but amazing guacamole in California, we got an order of it.  Unfortunately, the guac was fairly average.  (Speaking of guacamole, I asked around and putting guac on a sandwich to call it "Californian" is acceptable so the Golden State grilled cheese from Taliercio's is now validated.)

 5. Pa'ina, Chorizo Fried Rice, San Francisco

You don't get a lot of Hawaiian cuisine on the East Coast so I was glad I was able to experience this.  We didn't only get the chorizo fried rice but it was the only thing I could grab a picture of.  This place offered a ton of shared plates which is an awesome way to be able to try everything including Duck Baos, Poke Tacos, and Hawaiian favorite Spam Musubi.  This spot was right around the block from the house from Full House (which was so underwhelming) and the Painted Ladies (also underwhelming although the park across the street did have incredible views of SF and the bay).  Luckily, this meal was not underwhelming, everything was very good here.  

4. Random Taco Truck, Tacos, San Bruno

The first thing I wanted to do when getting out of the airport was to find a taco truck.  I plugged in taco truck into the GPS and off we went, 2.5 miles from the airport, to an industrial area that looked like it was from the set of Sons of Anarchy.  It was perfect.  There was a very nice woman working in the truck that day who cooked up my chicken tacos right there and she laughed at me when I asked her for extra spicy. She grilled up some of the best chicken I've had but I think she took it easy on the spicy sauce which wasn't insulting at all.  For some reason, when I think California, I think eating tacos on the trunk of your rental car among warehouses, and I'm just glad I was able to fulfill that lofty dream 30 minutes into my trip. 

3. The Bistro @ Courtyard by Marriot, Chorizo Breakfast Sandwich, Los Altos

I know it sounds crazy that one of the best meals I had the entire time was at the hotel restaurant but this breakfast sandwich was so good I had it two days in a row (one for research purposes and one for hangover purposes).  This was maybe one of the most high-quality breakfast sandwiches I've ever had (outside of the state of NJ). Starting with the brioche bun, I knew I was in for something a little more quality.  There was a TON of chorizo on this and the eggs were fluffy and cheesy.  Generally, I don't agree with eggs to be prepared this way for sandwiches but it didn't fall apart at all.  Also, this sandwich came with some of the best guacamole I've ever had.  Again, not sure what it says about the rest of my trip when one of my favorites was at the hotel.  

2. Golden Saba, Six Flavor Xiao Long Bao, Pan Fried Chive Dumpling, San Francisco

Since I stayed in Chinatown in my only night in SF, I figured it would be pretty dumb to not go to a dim sum restaurant.  I'm really glad we stumbled upon this one (it had the highest google rating).  It was a block off of the main Chinatown drag and is apparently a pretty new restaurant.  Don't let the shoddy exterior dissuade you, inside you'll find an old man slinging dumplings in the window and very friendly service.  Everything here was class, as we sampled six flavors of bao, some pan-fried chive dumplings, potstickers, and of course dessert bao.  It may not sound like a lot of food but after this meal, I needed to be rolled down the hills back to the hotel.  

1. The Buena Vista, Lobster Roll Chocolate Covered Bacon, San Francisco

 After trying to avoid all of the tourist traps of Fisherman's Wharf, we came across the Buena Vista, which was recommended to us.  After a bit of a shaky start (they don't serve food at their bar and it was self seating), we found a table and went to work.  The Buena Vista has been around for over 100 years and was made famous by developing the recipe for Irish Coffee and introducing it to the U.S.  Have to say, it was one of the best Irish coffee's I've had.  Next came the Lobster Roll and it was very good, with a perfectly toasted bun.  And finally, the main event, bacon covered in Ghiradelli chocolate.  As someone who doesn't love sweets, I wasn't expecting much from this side dish.  But I was blown away by how good this bacon was when covered in chocolate.  I also discovered Beaver Brand Sweet Hot Mustard which made the waffle fries THAT much better.  In fact, I loved this mustard so much I think I'm about to order some from Amazon so I can share how great it was at my next BBQ.   

And there you have it, my likely very touristy review on Bay Area foods.  All in all, I will definitely return to the area during my planned "America The Beautiful Baseball Tour.  And since the Giants were out of town, I need to see a game at that stadium so if I missed something awesome that I shouldn't miss again please tell me! 

PEC Challenge: Newark Liberty International Airport

Before I jumped into the SF food scene last weekend, I fueled up for the six-hour flight with the only airport pork roll, egg, and cheese available anywhere in the world (I think).  The newly renovated Terminal C at Newark Airport (not an ad) allows you to order food, booze, and in my case chocolate milk right to your gate by using one of the many available tablets (thanks taxpayers!).  As someone who has experienced twelve years of public school and one summer working concessions at Monmouth Park, I know a meal provided by ARAMARK when I see one.  Expectations were rightly low for this pork roll experience but sometimes the best ability is availability.  I have to admit, this was way better than some bullshit cafeteria eggs and bacon I would have gotten at any other airport.  (Except DCA where you can get a pretty good breakfast burrito at El Centro in Terminal B/C.) Let's check out the tale of the tape.

Bread Rating: 5.4/10 (A huge potato roll that was frankly sad looking.)

Pork Roll Rating: 6.6/10 (Pros: Pork Roll at the airport! It wasn't terrible. Cons: Two thin slices.  They called it Taylor Ham)

Egg Rating: 4.8/10 (I mean this was a quick cook scrambled egg that you'd get on the egg platter that they just plopped onto a sandwich.) 

Cheese Rating: 4.5/10 (Likely a step below a Kraft single but just above what they serve at the prison next door.  OK let's just be honest, they're serving the same thing at the prison next door.)

Sandwich Composition: 5.2/10 (It's bold to attempt this at an airport and I'm sad for all the travelers not familiar with the real NJ that have to have this be their first experience.  Skimped on pork roll, overdone eggs, and ketchup on the side.  I ate this in about five seconds.)

Overall Rating: 5.3/10

Price: $11 (I mean...)

**Come back tomorrow when I obnoxiously rank every single Bay Area meal I had (including a breakfast sandwich I liked so much I got on two days in a row.)**

Sandwich Challenge: The Golden State

Growing up on the East Coast, I've always heard of these mythical lands out west.  A left coast, a better coast.  Well, tomorrow I will be flying to San Francisco and honestly, I'm not sure what to expect.  I've heard a myriad of things ranging from "most beautiful city in the U.S." to "literal human waste all over the place."  Seems contradictory.  Despite anything I've heard, I'm very much looking forward to the trip, mostly for the food, but also to soak in that California lifestyle.  Before traveling to a new city, I like to do a little research on the history, so here are some unbiased SF facts.  San Francisco was founded on June 29th, 1776 by Spanish colonists looking to start a Catholic Mission in the bay area.  California (which included SF) was claimed by American Commodore John Sloat on July 7, 1846, following American victories during the Mexican-American War.  Perfect timing by my guy John Sloat because three years later gold was found in the area.  As you can imagine, all sorts of people came west in search of fortune and the city of San Francisco ballooned from 1,000 people to 25,000 in less than a year.  With great wealth came the grubby bankers, and Wells Fargo was founded in 1852 (thanks for the credit card I will likely max out this weekend).  The U.S. Military was quick to defend their new gold mine and established a fort on Alcatraz Island (touristing the hell out of this place Friday), which would later become a high-security prison and much later a Nic Cage movie set.  Immigrants from China, Japan, Korea, and Southeast Asia began pouring in as great of numbers as Europeans were coming to New York, with promises of work and riches.  Things were going great for SF until 1906 when a major earthquake struck and destroyed most of the city leaving half of the town's population of 400,000 homeless.  The rebuild was accomplished quickly, and the city reestablished itself as a financial capital, with not a single bank failing following the 1929 market crash.  During WW2, the port of San Francisco was used as a huge embarkation point for service members shipping out to the Pacific.  Like most American cities, post-WW2 families flocked to the suburbs, and with it came freeways that nearly destroyed the city as we know it.  But the city was again revitalized by America's counterculture of the 1960s as the artists returned to the city in droves.  More recently, the internet industry has brought unprecedented wealth to the area leaving many without affordable homes, but at least they became the first city to ban e-cigarettes.  Anyway, I'll report back next week with my actual review of the city, not what I read online. Let's check out this grilled cheese. 

The Golden State: Lacey Swiss, Mozzarella, Turkey, Avocado, Tomato

This is the first of nine grilled cheeses offered by Taliercio's and they are all named after locations.  (Which means I'll have to travel to these places when judging these things.)  This one set the bar pretty, pretty high.  I really love how by putting avocado on anything that automatically turns it into a "California" themed food on the East Coast, which seems incorrect.  Regardless, I will ask everyone I encounter this weekend to get to the truth.  If every grilled cheese from Taliercio's is like this one then they are all going to be grilled to perfection.  It honestly didn't need the turkey but after a month of eating sandwiches from here without any meat on them, it was a welcome addition.  The melted combo of swiss and mozzarella was just delightful and something I would definitely order again.

Rating: 7.7/10

PEC Challenge: Fairwinds Deli

Summer officially starts this week, and with it, beach season.  One of the best things you can do to help fuel you through a day in the sun is to start the day off with a pork roll, egg, and cheese on the beach.  That's why for the next few months, I'll be exclusively heading to pork roll spots you can hit on the way to the beach.  I know, not everyone will be coming from the same direction so I'll spread it out for anyone coming from any point in Monmouth County.  Of course, the closer to the beach, the better, you wouldn't want to start off your day with a cold pork roll.  Today, I'm stopping at the first deli I come across on my 8-mile (they should make a movie about this) drive to the beach, Fairwinds Deli in Fair Haven. This is the type of deli I would recommend to anyone coming to the Jersey Shore for the first time as it has an incredible local vibe to it and they whip up a very good breakfast sandwich.  

Bread Rating: 8.2/10 (Hard roll is the way to go, and theirs is pretty good.  Slightly bigger than the hard rolls you'll find in some of the other surrounding delis.)

Pork Roll Rating: 9.4/10 (Five perfectly cut slices, with the egg and cheese in between them.  I'm not sure if it was the griddle or what, but the pork roll here was incredible.)

Egg Rating: 8.4/10 (A fried egg with a little bit of a runny yolk is something I haven't found all that often and it killed. )

Cheese Rating: 8.1/10 (Plenty of cheese to be had here, typical yellow American, expertly melted.)

Sandwich Composition: 8.9/10 (Everything here was spot on, from the SPK to the placement of pork roll, cheese, egg, more cheese, more pork roll.  Spectacular.)

Overall Rating: 8.6/10 (Great vibes, great sandwich, if you get to Sea Bright through River Road, consider this as your spot.)

Price: $5.95, cards accepted.  

Fairwinds Deli is located at 798 River Rd, Fair Haven, NJ 07704

PEC Challenge: Gem's Belford Junction

We are back yet again with our 2nd Gem's location.  Since I had to retrieve my car at my friend's house following an eventful BBQ in Belford, I figured it would be the best time to check out the Junction location of Gem's.  I remember this being a beloved location of Junction Bagels before Gem's took over, but how did the takeover treat the pork roll, egg, and cheese? Let's dive in.

Bread Rating: 5.9/10 (The bagel was pretty bland, to be honest, it was maybe just a step up from a bagel from Panera.  Not great.)

Pork Roll Rating: 6.8/10 (Two thin slices so it was a bit skimpy, but the grillmaster did a great job with it that the sandwich was salvaged a bit.)

Egg Rating: 6.5/10 (an Average fried egg that took up the majority of the sandwich.)

Cheese Rating: 6.9/10 (Typical yellow American cheese, there was the appropriate amount of cheese on it.)

Sandwich Composition: 6.1/10 (Pros: SPK ratio was right on.  Cons: Poor pork roll to egg ratio)

Overall Rating: 6.4/10 (I remember this location being much better when I was growing up, but really this was pretty below average for me.  Of course, if you live near the junction you could do much worse than to have this in your neighborhood, there are just better places to go for a pork roll sandwich.) 

Price: $5.35, cards accepted with a convenience fee (I think it was an extra .20.)

Gem's Belford Junction is located at 106 Leonardville Rd, Belford, NJ 07718. 

Sandwich Challenge: Carmela Soprano

There are moments in TV history that remind you so much of your own life you can't believe it.  For me, every single time Carmela Soprano angrily yelled "Anthony Jr" at her terrible son, it sent shivers down my spine.  If you grew up with an Italian mother you already know your life is over once she raises her voice at you, which for me was pretty much daily.  But despite the yelling (it's how we show affection), there is no doubt that these women are 100% ride or die.  Sure, Carmela was aware of her husband's illegal dealings but that didn't stop her from leaving leftover eggplant for him in the fridge or, you know, not talking to law enforcement about it. For her, it was all about her children and giving them the best life possible, which is what made her one of the most relatable and appreciated character on The Sopranos. 

The Carmela Soprano: Fried Eggplant, Mozzarella, Sun Dried Tomatoes

Speaking of eggplant, there's plenty of it on this panini, and folks, this eggplant is the real deal.  It is absolutely fried to perfection, and yeah, I know this is supposed to be the "healthy" run of sandwiches, but there are no meats or dressings on this panini!  Of all of the vegetarian (let's call them Lenten) sandwiches, this one was my favorite.  Did I mention, the eggplant is perfectly fried? Pair this with mozzarella and you won't be disappointed.

Overall: 6.8/10

**Evidence of me being an idiot: I still get teased by my family for mistakenly eating my cousin's eggplant parm even though I ordered chicken. Sorry, Ryan, I owe you an eggplant parm.