People called me crazy. No single person should eat every sandwich on that board and live to tell the tale. Well, eighteen months and 73 sandwiches later, I come to you a conqueror...
Of the Taliercio's sandwich board.
You read that correctly. I've eaten every specially named sandwich Taliercio's in Middletown has to offer, and now I'm going to do the very public service of ranking them for you (people love "ranked" blogs right?), like the basic Buzzfeed bitch I am, so that you never have to make a split-second decision on a sandwich there again. First of all, all of these sandwiches are "good." Some are only just good, many are great, a couple legendary and there's something in here for everyone. You could never go wrong at Taliercio's. If you've followed along with all of my articles of each sandwich (thank you), you will know I've rated these numerically but this ranking will not just be those numerical ratings in order. They will be more so used as a guide instead of definitive ratings since I didn't eat all of these on the same day. That's science, baby. Without further ado, I present my life's work (actually just one lunch per week since 2019):
Absolutely no surprise here, this isn't a health blog and you don't go to Taliercio's looking for something that's going to make you fit. The only thing on here used as "dressing" is red vinegar. This is probably better on a roll instead of the semolina bread to be fair because the honey maple turkey and swiss combo isn't a bad one.
72. The Gobbler
I know this will be a controversial choice, but I don't understand people's obsession with Thanksgiving food. I mean it was created by people (the pilgrims,) who lived the plainest lifestyle imaginable and almost died of starvation upon arrival to North America. Not exactly who I would turn to for culinary advice. I know, I know, this sandwich is "popular" and also for some reason the state sandwich of Delaware (which will be part of my next sandwich project) but come on, this sandwich is at best what you make yourself at home while hungover AF after Thanksgiving and that's it.
71. The Hammer
Had are very tough time getting past the asiago cheese. Honey mustard with ham might not really be my thing. And I could do without the spinach and tomato here. Did eating this after giving blood affect the ranking? Maybe.
70. Henry Hill
Many of these next sandwiches are victims of having one ingredient completely overpower the entire sandwich. In this case, the creamy ranch dressing was too much to overcome. I love banana peppers, but even they couldn't save it for me here.
69. Marilyn Monroe
A panini with just vegetables and cheese. Simple, yet can be a bit messy. In the end, it will get the job done. Nice.
Almost identical to the Marilyn Monroe except on semolina bread instead of on a panini. I like the thick slices of cold mozz on this sandwich better than when melted and you still get the flavors of the sauteed vegetables without needing the panini press.
67. John Candy
The broccoli rabe and sundried tomatoes just didn't do it for me on a panini grill. It's also not what I'm expecting when eating roast pork. I'm sure plenty of people like this combo though so not judging.
66. Alipio Special
A taste of a summer BBQ right here on a sandwich. I'd say this one breaks down to 45% chicken, 45% BBQ sauce, and then 5% bacon and 5% melted swiss. Can be a bit too much BBQ sauce if that's not you're thing.
I won't lie, I was pretty disappointed by this one. I was expecting a lot more buffalo flavor with Frank's hot sauce and really didn't get much. Also unsure about what the tomatoes are doing there. With pepper jack cheese and hot peppers on here, I was expecting some kick and was confused when I didn't get any.
64. Carmela Soprano
Folks, this fried eggplant will make you sing. With some melted mozzarella and you have yourself a Good Friday lunch you'll never forget.
63. Al Capone
Adding avocado to a sandwich goes a long way, and in my opinion (I'm not a nutritionist), this sandwich may be healthier than "The Healthy Choice." Grilled chicken with spinach sounds like gains to me and with the avocado in the mix, you can get away with red wine vinegar as your only condiment.
62. The Stewart
Take away the avocado and add honey mustard and here you have The Stewart. And yes, honey mustard is a better condiment with grilled chicken than red wine vinegar so The Stewart gets the edge here.
61. Billy Bob
60. Tony Montana
I held out as long as I could on this one. This was personally my least favorite of all of the sandwiches because the blue cheese crumbles were just too much. It was an entire spread across the entire loaf of bread. If you're into blue cheese this will probably be higher in your ranking. Love the roast beef and horseradish match though. What a dream.
59. Tony Soprano
A ham and cheese panini with a missed opportunity to implement Tony's love of capicola.
58. New Yorker
You get all the meats on this one. Prosciutto, Salami, Mortadella, and a ton of provolone. An antipasti dream, on a sandwich. I've always been more into the pepperoni and mozzarella so I leave the rest to you, antipasti lovers.
57. Petey C
Fried eggplant shines on this sandwich which to me serves as a little upgrade from the meat only New Yorker. Is fried eggplant underrepresented in mainstream cuisine? Yes.
56. Jersey Boy
55. Tony G
Disclaimer: this sandwich is not named after me. It's actually pretty opposite of what I would choose to put on a sandwich and continues with the broccoli rabe/provolone combination. However, I do enjoy turkey over salami for sandwiches.
54. The Genovese
53. Yogi Berra
A classic turkey and swiss but instead of mayo you're getting some mustard to add some zing. An old-time sandwich named after an old-time ballplayer. So it goes...
52. The Gusto
51. Blazing Buffalo
50. Cheech and Chong
I love this panini. In fact, I love it so much that it was the only thing I used to order in high school every visit I made to Taliercio's. And if I never tried anything else from here I would have missed out on 49 other amazing sandwiches and paninis. Keep that in mind next time you're afraid to try something new. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
49. Cannonball
Pretty much exactly the Cheech and Chong except as a sandwich and I thought the sandwich worked better than the panini in this case. Let's just move on because these next ones are all slight variations of the BBQ motif. Yes, I consider food to be art.
48. Jack Nicholson
Cracked pepper turkey and hickory smoked bacon is a combo you definitely want to try. And now they're throwing in Colby jack cheese into the mix. Exciting!
47. Al Pacino
Drop the BBQ sauce and replace it with ranch dressing. What? You still get that BBQ taste with the bacon.
46. Chevy Chase
Chipotle. Chicken. Breast. The stars align with this panini as we bring together everything that makes the last four great. A premium deli meat, a flavorful cheese, smoked bacon, and creamy ranch dressing. Oh right, and there are vegetables on this (red onion and tomato) too if that's what you're looking for.
45. The Big Apple
The first grilled cheese on the list appears here with The Big Apple. The theme of all of the "grilled cheese" at Taliercio's is turning a city's signature sandwich into a grilled cheese form. Here we take New York's pastrami on rye with swiss and sauerkraut. Not quite the classic Reuben without the Russian Dressing but still very good.
44. Sammy Davis Jr
Very similar to The Big Apple except there IS Russian Dressing on this one and the pastrami is replaced with...turkey pastrami. What's the difference? Not too much nutritionally except turkey pastrami has less saturated fat. So if you're watching your cholesterol, go for this one.
43. Jersey Shore
According to sources, putting cheddar cheese with a chicken cutlet is a common thing. I'd never heard of it, but it worked on this panini. Hot peppers give it a bit of a zing before being reeled in by the ranch dressing.
42. The BBQ
41. All American BBQ
40. Memphis BBQ
We're a long way from the Mississippi River here in NJ yet this grilled cheese, albeit not exactly authentic, was still delicious. Pepper Jack and cheddar blend together in melted harmony over sliced BBQ chicken (allegedly Memphis is known for pork but this can be easily overlooked).
39. Doo-Wop
You'll likely be hearing a lot more about the roast beef at Taliercio's as this list moves along. This particular roast beef sandwich has broccoli rabe on it so maybe it will be higher on the rabe fanatic list.
38. Louie Prima
Condiments are important around here and the cajun mayo does not disappoint with the bacon here. Also where else will you find chipotle gouda on grilled chicken? Nowhere.
37. American
Along with the Italian sub, the American is the most frequented in the "six-foot party sub" game. It has everything you need to fuel those weekend day drinking sessions, as well as the 2 AM fridge raid that follows.
36. Honey Club
Just look at those layers. Ham, Turkey, BACON. Magic. All smothered with a healthy spread of mayo over lettuce and tomato. If you fit this entire thing in one bite, God bless.
35. Italian
The state sandwich of New Jersey comes in at the median of this list. Difficult decisions are going to have to be made following this number. Personally, I enjoy my Italian subs with some more oil and vinegar BUT you will never go wrong ordering one from here. This is the sandwich almost every person born in NJ has had by their First Communion (or 2nd grade for the non-Catholics out there).
34. The Godfather
The basil pesto spread over the fresh mozzarella is a combination to die for. Slightly melted over the panini press with prosciutto (love watching people try to pronounce that). If prosciutto isn't your jam, don't worry because this isn't the last time you'll see a basil pesto/mozzarella combo on a sandwich here.
33. The Sinatra
Do you know what happens to a panini when you slather dijonnaise on it? It makes it fucking delicious, that's what. There are plenty of paninis that we've been through with turkey swiss and bacon. This one has the spiced combo of mustard and mayo on it.
The most on the nose grilled cheese on the list. The Big Wisconsin blends American and Cheddar cheeses and adds heavenly bacon. No need to dunk in tomato sauce because tomato is already included.
31. The Bean Town
There are no beans to be seen here but this grilled cheese pays homage to Boston's (really North Shore's) famous roast beef sandwiches. On those, the roast beef is served cold, but no one wants a cold grilled cheese here. Melted cheddar and mozz blend with the Russian dressing and juicy roast beef to help enable your addiction to saturated fats. Delicious.
Not exactly a Philly Cheesesteak but this rendition is still good thanks to how good the roast beef is here. I'm partial to the wiz wit cheesesteak and while there was no wiz here, the American/Mozzarella blend worked too.
29. The Golden State
Want a grilled cheese that's a bit healthier? Look no further than The Golden State, named after, you guessed it, the healthy shores (physically, maybe not mentally) of California. Featuring everyone's favorite superfood from California, avocado, this grilled cheese keeps it tight. Very limited drips of cheese and oils here. That makes it healthy, right?
28. Big Mike
The heavy hitters are coming up to bat now. This take on the classic Italian sub adds mozzarella and balsamic vinegar to the mix. An entire antipasto of meats doesn't hurt either.
The pumpernickel bread is a nice change-up and the horseradish sauce will really kick up this turkey sandwich. Sometime's a slight variation is what you need.
26. The Mel Brooks
The classic Reuben sandwich is dedicated to longtime comedian Mel Brooks. Similar to the Big Apple seen higher up the list, the coleslaw and Russian Dressing addition makes all the difference.
25. The Mo
24. The John Wayne
I didn't know horseradish cheddar cheese was a thing until I had the John Wayne. What a treat! Melted over mesquite turkey with bistro sauce, this panini will surely not disappoint.
23. The Gambino
The first of four veal cutlet sandwiches comes in at twenty-three. I guess I'm just that into veal. But this sandwich is more than just that. It also features bruschetta which by itself with bread is good enough for this guy.
22. The Spinnato
You can't look at this sandwich and not think "fresh," no matter what your opinion on pesto is. Just salami and mozzarella alone would be enough to score pretty high on any list. The basil pesto puts it solidly in the top-25.
21. The Dean Martin
Look, if you have roast beef and horseradish on your sandwich you are going to be ranked pretty high on any list. This greasy panini is enough to cure any hangover or hunger you might be experiencing.
20. Black Russian
19. Donnie Brasco
The shaved grilled chicken was much better than just a grilled breast on the sandwich as it doesn't dry up as easily. But let's talk about bistro sauce for a minute. What is it? Where did it come from? Well, if you thought horseradish was as good as it gets, you'd be wrong because bistro sauce takes that horseradish and mixes in mustard and garlic. Is there a better condiment? Perhaps, no.
Mark muffuletta down as a sandwich I did not know existed. Inspired by the New Orleans style sandwich of the same name, Testa's muffuletta features a spicy olive blend on salami and provolone which really kicks the flavor into gear. Definitely, a must-try.
17. The De Niro
This is the only sandwich you'll find here with gouda on it and it's a welcome variation to the ham and cheese that typically has swiss. Slathering dijonnaise doesn't hurt as seen on The Sinatra.
16. The Siciliano
Adding two veal cutlets to a prosciutto and mozzarella sandwich is something people might consider a "crazy" move. Not here. This sandwich is a complete meal(s). Multiple because you might not be able to eat dinner if you eat one of these for lunch.
15. Ronnie Special
When you make chicken cutlets like Taliercio's, you're going to excel in the sandwich game. With melted American and mayo, this sandwich plays as an improved chicken sandwich from your local fast-food establishment and it's all due to these chicken cutlets.
14. The Calabrese
The bruschetta and pesto complement each other perfectly with the ham and mozzarella. There's a real "Spring" flavor to this sandwich so if you're reading this and it's winter maybe give this one a look.
13. The Dinapoli
Don't like ham or pesto but still want that bruschetta? Look no further because the Dinapoli will satisfy that craving. Why the Dinapoli over the Gambino? Simple. There's cheese on this one, fresh mozzarella cheese at that, and everyone knows cheese > arugula.
12. Nicky "D"
This is the turkey sandwich dreams are made of. Fresh cut turkey with jalapeno jack cheese (!), bacon, lettuce, tomato, and honey mustard. You can't miss with any of these ingredients and I really love how the cheese is melted into the bacon here.
11. Dirty South
What if I told you the cheese in this grilled cheese was mac n cheese? Is that cheesy enough? Oh, there's also pulled pork mixed in as well. Pretty sure this is what NJ residents think southern people eat daily, which would be crazy right?
10. The Duke
9. Fredo
Bet you've never put a chicken cutlet on a ham and swiss before? What if instead of mustard, I offered you honey mustard for that chicken cutlet? Worlds collide in this Godfather Pt 2 inspired panini where Italy meets Cuba. The results are mixed. Pros: this sandwich. Cons: me and my sister.
8. Mikey A
A common theme for the more successful sandwiches is the willingness to combine good ingredients. In this case, it's adding fried eggplant (a vegetable, by the way) to a turkey and mozzarella sandwich. Where else do you even see mozzarella cut like this to even go on a sandwich? The answer is nowhere.
There's a reason the Cuban sandwich is one of the most popular and well-known sandwiches in the country. Because it's good. Is this the most authentic Cuban in New Jersey? Not even close. But this is still a good panini anyway and deserves recognition.
I found this to be one of the most balanced paninis/sandwiches on the list. There's just enough ranch on here to not take away from the grilled chicken and bacon flavor, while also getting a blast of avocado. Oh, and almost forgot the hot cherry peppers. This is perhaps one of the greatest grilled chicken sandwiches on planet earth.
5. Peter Luger
Of all of the "city named" grilled cheese, this one is the top one. It basically comes together like a pizza with salami and pepperoni. And honestly, who doesn't love pizza? Also, half of the fun of grilled cheese is dunking it in tomato sauce. Well, with this one you get a side of marinara which, if we're being honest, is superior to the regular tomato sauce that comes with grilled cheeses that do NOT feature pepperoni or salami.
2. The Capolino
When the data is released, I'm sure it will come out that this list is incredibly partial to both spiciness and roast beef. I'm here to tell you that this panini has both and it's absolutely glorious. Horseradish and roast beef is such a winning combo that I've had it as a Christmas Day meal for the past two decades. Add in pepper jack cheese and hot peppers and WOW. This is the definitive best panini on the menu.
1. E-Tali
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